We're sure flowers, candlelight and Barry White on the stereo would probably sound like a bizarre way to woo a mate if you were a hippo, but since you're reading this we're going to assume you're human.
And since you're human and we're human, we going to take this opportunity to raise our eyebrows and go "huh?" at these bizarre mating rituals from the animal kingdom. See this list to get started.
No. 01 - Octopus Mating Ritual
The male octopus's penis breaks off during mating, but don't worry, it will grow back the following season.
No. 02 - Porcupine Mating Ritual
The male porcupine showers the female with a long stream of urine before mating.
No. 03 - Bedbug Mating Ritual
The female bedbug mates by getting jabbed in the abdomen by the male's penis.
No. 04 - Red-Side Garter Snake Mating Ritual
During the mating season, the red-side garter snake will engage in a massive orgy, with one female taking on hundreds of partners.
No. 05 - Slug Mating Ritual
The male slug's penis is so large he must find a mate of comparable size -- or risk having it bitten off.
No. 06 - Cichlid Fish Mating Ritual
Cichlid fish eggs are fertilized by the male while they're being carried in the female's mouth.
No. 07 - Angler Fish Mating Ritual
The male anglerfish latches onto the female like a parasite, living off her food and fertilizing her when she's ready to lay eggs.
No. 08 - Midge Mating Ritual
In certain midges, intercourse appears to include kissing, but it is in fact the female sucking out the male's bodily fluids. Romantic, huh?
No. 09 - Flatworm Mating Ritual
Because they are hermaphrodites, flatworms duke it out with their penises to decide which one will be the woman.
No. 10 - Hippo Mating Ritual
The male hippo attracts a female by using his tail to spray her with his feces.